The kids are both old enough now to appreciate holiday traditions. They remember doing some of these things in years past and look forward to doing them again. As you can see, pumpkin carving was a big hit with them.

Sam and Claire cleaned out the pumpkins as best they could and directed the cutting of the designs. I, of course, was in charge of sharp implements. Sam chose an elaborate spider design. Claire was happy with a goofy face.

Our jack-o-lanterns garnered compliments from the neighbors!

Of course, trick-or-treating was the most exciting part of the holiday. Their dad and uncle took them around the neighborhood and they came back with an unbelievable amount of candy. I guess our neighbors were suckered by how cute these two kids are (I know I would have been!)

More holiday photos can be seen here.

I had hoped to finish my orange jacket in time for trick-or-treating. I had imagined attaching some black felt cutouts (only temporarily) to make it look like a jack-o-lantern, but I just plain ran out of time. I did finish it the next day and am very happy with it.

I think I managed to save it from looking too “clownish.” Cutting down the sleeves helped a lot. It’s not something I can wear all the time, since that neck is deep and wide. It looks best when I wear a turtleneck or crew neck top underneath it. Also, the wide neckline allows the cold in. My next jacket is going to be less “stylish” and more practical. Even though I disparaged the material a lot in the past, I’m eager to sew with fleece again. It’s easy to handle and makes perfect outerwear for the damp weather we have around here.

More details on the McCall’s jacket can be found in my pattern review.

We woke up this morning to snow. Not much, just a light dusting really, but it was enough to delay local schools from opening by two hours. That was ok by me, since I’m not a morning person and appreciated the extra time to get going.

Since Robert took the car today, the kids and I walked to school. Normally, it’s a nice journey, but today the fluffy white stuff provided them with continual distraction and I was hard pressed to keep them going so we would make it before the last bell rang. We made it–just in time–and both kids were soaked through and through.

When Claire and I made it back home, she changed into warm, dry clothes and sat down to watch the latest Pingu disc we rented.

I took the opportunity to work on Cassidy, which is nearly complete–but not close enough that I’ll be able to wear it to my knitting meetup tonight. Darn it! A knitter needs to show off their big creations now and then I still have a ton of seaming to do, a few more inches on the hood and the front bands to work. Still, a new sweater is on the horizon and I’m excited about that!

It snowed again. I was royally freaking out because I needed Sam to go back to school. Working hard in class and playing hard with his friends wears him out, which is a fantastic thing. When he comes home, he’s nice and calm. As much as Claire and I try to keep him busy, we can’t compete with six hours of school and 30 kids.

Apparently the People in Charge also had enough of letting the snow interfere with what should be a regular old day and/or they couldn’t stomach the thought of spending all summer in school, so school was back in session and on time today…despite all the snow.

I’m looking forward to a few hours of quiet today in which I’ll take a look at some of my favorite websites, do some laundry, figure out what to cook for dinner and play a silly game or three with Claire.

The snow has added another element of excitement to our lives. It’s breaking things.

The tree next door lost a couple of large limbs, which are blocking our neighbor’s driveway. The snow has also caused our street light to tilt over at an alarming angle. I called the Street Light People, who are supposedly sending Street Light Engineers my way, but I haven’t yet seen hide nor hair of them. I hope it won’t take them the six to eight weeks they estimate for fixing street light outages…

On the crafting front, choosing which mitten to knit has turned out to be more difficult than my former plan made it seem. I initially tried Bella’s Mittens, but the yarn I was using was variegated and too busy for the pattern. Then, I started on Bird in the Hand, but had serious gauge issues. Using size 2 needles made a mitten that was so tight it could have been used as a tourniquet. Using size 3 needles resulted in a tube of fabric that could have comfortably encased my thigh.

It’s a pretty pattern, though, and someday I intend to try it again using a DK weight yarn. (Ooh, and working those braids was loads of fun. I say this even after it caused me to break one of my beloved birch DPNs).

Currently, I’m trying to knit one of the Selbuvotter mittens, but am feeling paranoid about sizing issues despite the fact that my gauge appears to be spot on–and continues to be correct even after checking it 5,629 times. I’d post a photo, but I don’t want to jinx myself yet.

My kids and I have been learning a lot about environmental concerns and taking baby steps to lessen our own impact on the planet ( reducing, reusing and recycling).

Sam is especially worried about the melting ice caps and how that affects the polar bears. He likes polar bears.

Claire drew fish food, because fish food is awesome. Fishies are awesome too.

My picture depicts a small part of what makes our planet beautiful to me…trees and flowers and birds…

As instructed, I called my doctor early Monday morning to discuss the results of the MRI I had done last week. She wasn’t available, so I dutifully left a message for her and waited for her to call back.

Hours passed and not a ring. I decided to go for a walk during lunch to get some fresh air. I should have eaten my lunch at my desk, since (naturally) she decided to call when I was out. I suppose she was unable to say much about the results due to privacy laws, nevertheless, her remark that there was “nothing alarming” about the MRI results wasn’t very informative.

I called again and a third time later that day.  The receptionist informed me that they had been passing on my messages to my doctor. Fine.

I refrained from running to the restroom for the last hour of work, since I didn’t want to miss her call. Nada. At five o’clock, I raced to the restroom.

When I came back, the light on my phone was blinking. The message was from the nurse who worked with my doctor. She said she could tell me a little bit about the test, but it was probably best that I make an appointment and speak with my doctor about this. Great. Another opportunity to miss work to hear about test results that show NOTHING.

I know my doctor is busy, but her failure to contact me yesterday really upset me. I’ve been battling this for two freakin’ years, with very little help from any medical personnel. I’m at my wit’s end. I’m desperate. I’m depressed and I want to be done with this NOW.

To make matters worse, when I expressed my frustration with the doctor and with my inability to do work comfortably and enjoy any of my old hobbies (knitting, cross-stitch, web design, etc.), he told me he was sick to death of hearing about my back and that I should just get over it. This is the same refrain my mother sang to me during the Christmas holidays.

I know no one enjoys hearing (or reading) someone talk over and over again about how they hurt and how frustrated they are. I don’t enjoy it myself. But what am I supposed to do? Pretend that everything is fine? Pretend that life is good; that I can enjoy things the way I once did? I guess I’m missing the heroic streak I’m supposed to have.

Sure, I’m relatively lucky…I have all my limbs; I’m not paralyzed or blind. But just because it could be worse doesn’t mean that I should totally discount my current suffering, does it? Or does it? The message that I’m getting from my closest friends and family members is that it does…that I should stop talking about this; stop feeling sorry for myself and move on.

What they’re discounting is that I have been trying as hard as I can. I’ve changed my habits (I excercise regularly and watch my posture). I’ve tried to find new activities and tried to focus on the good things in my life (my kids). But try as I might, I can’t help but resent these physical limitations and the lack of sympathy I’m experiencing. I feel really alone in this. 

P.S. I made an appointment to see my doctor on Thursday. I’m going to ask for some meds that actually help mask the pain and for more physical therapy. I’m also going to ask for a referral to a mental health counselor…perhaps there I’ll find the attentive listener I really need right now.