Today is my son’s ninth birthday. I’m shocked at how fast time has gone by. It seems like only yesterday when I was cradling a chubby smiling baby boy in my arms and now he’s this gangly thing that alternates from devastatingly charming to heartbreakingly rebellious (NO, Mom, I will not read my library book, play with my Transformers or build something with LEGOS. I don’t want to do anything right now…leave me alone!)
Growing up is wonderful and hard and a mind-boggling complicated thing.
Sam, I love you so very, very much.
The fact that he’s aging means I’m aging too. There it is. A fact I’d rather not contemplate, but it’s unavoidable. Aging issues keep rising up like fish in a river when the flies hover near the surface.
As I’ve talked about before on this blog, figuring out how to dress has become a real challenge. It’s the rare retailer who caters to women my age and older–and when they do, their offerings are often frumpy.
So, I was curious to read what Kendall Farr, a famous stylist, had to say in her book, Style Evolution: How to Create Ageless Personal Style in Your 40s and Beyond. Right up front, the author acknowledges that “dressing well and looking current and grown-up in middle age is not only a vital reflection of self-regard but of the attitude we wish to project to the world.”
Caring about clothes should not be deemed a shameful thing–the provenance of the weak and the vain–but something a confident and smart woman considers from time to time. It’s not the weightiest topic in the world, but it matters nonetheless. Dressing nicely shows you respect yourself and and that you care about what sort of attitude you display to others.
Ms. Farr goes on to explain her theory of an ageless style, one that doesn’t dither over notions of “too young” or “too old,” but which concerns itself with “wearing good design with the right foundations underneath…that creat[e] a flattering silhouette on a body (at any size) [and] is appealing “at any age.”
Very good. I totally buy into the “ageless style” theory. It’s probably easier for me to digest than for some others because my natural inclinations lie with more conservative styles. However, she made some pronouncements at which I balked.
First of all, Ms. Farr suggests that some colors are ageing, e.g. “girly candy colors” and “girly pastels.” Intellectually, I understand her point. There are some colors we associate with girls. But what if you look particularly good in those colors? For example, bright candy colored pink looks really good on me. On its own, pink is not a favorite color of mine, but I’d hate to stop wearing it since it does such nice things for my complexion.
Speaking of colors, bright white is apparently a no-no for my complexion. I should be wearing off-whites. Who knew? I have a lot of white fabric…and I’m not tossing it. In fact, one of my next projects will be a riff on Michelle Obama’s famous OTR dress:
I’m planning on relying on my instincts here and will wear whatever colors make me feel good. Bright pink is one of them. Bright white never made me feel icky, unlike some beiges, so I’ll probably continue wearing that too.
Another point that made me scratch my head and go “hmmm” was her recommendation to opt for modern styles/prints, etc. and avoid vintage styles/prints. Why? Are they inherently aging? This really disappointed me, since I’ve been drooling over the outfits in Mad Men and some of the fantastic vintage stylings I’ve seen around blogland. Again, this may be an area where I choose to take her advice with a grain of salt.
Finally, Ms. Farr indicates that ironic play with fashion is best left to younger women. I’m just now learning how to enjoy experimenting with my outfits and making statements. So, why can’t older women experiment and play and make ironic commentary with their outfits? I don’t get it. Sometimes I may wish to dress as a sailor with my wide-legged trousers and a striped shirt, but I don’t intend to board a ship…or I may wish to invoke the classic style of a housewife in the 50s, or a finely dressed man in a tuxedo. I’d sure hate to squelch my playfulness and sense of humor. There’s nothing more ageing than that.
On the other hand, Ms. Farr is smitten with animal prints. That delights my inner jungle queen. Recently, I brought home lengths of ITY jersey in zebra and leopard prints and am eager to sew them up. First, will be a jungle cat wrap dress (Simplicity 2369):
Knowing my tendency to dress conservatively, my husband was surprised at my purchase. He looked at me, as perplexed as could be, and asked, are you really going to wear that in public?
Heck yeah, baby! I’ve just found my mojo!
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