Mar 25 2004
Claire's First Check-Up / Breastfeeding Woes
We bundled up Claire:
and took her to her first appointment with the pediatrician. We really like this doctor. In addition to being knowledgeable, he is very personable. He puts both parents and kids at ease.
(The rest of this entry deals with breastfeeding issues…)
Unfortunately, this didn’t turn out to be a trouble-free visit culminating in an exchange of pleasantries. Poor Claire has lost almost 16 ounces since she was born…a lot more than is typical. If she keeps losing weight at this rate, it could develop into a very serious problem.
I just broke down and cried. I’m not destined to be someone who can breastfeed her children with very little trouble. Claire and I were doing fine in the hospital. In fact, I was very excited about the prospect of having better success with her than I did with Sam. Claire latches on appropriately. The nurses and the lactation consultant I met with reassured me that I was positioning her correctly, etc. Everything looked good.
Then we took Claire home. She refused to nurse. She cried hysterically every time I tried to get her to nurse. I inevitably ended up crying too–partly from the frustration of not being able to feed my baby and partly from the agony of offering her nipples which were sore to the touch, cracked and bleeding.
Claire was also becoming very dehydrated, so we had to give her a little bit of water to prevent some of the complications we dealt with when trying to breastfeed Sam. Robert and I got into a row about that since the nurse in the hospital told us not to give her any water. In the end, I think Robert’s overriding my protests was the right thing since there were immediate signs of improvement after she had consumed the small amount he offered her.
Anyway, the pediatrician assured us that he wanted to encourage us to continue breastfeeding, but because of Claire’s dramatic weight loss, he had to instruct us to supplement with formula. Although I know I’ve been doing everything in my power to make this work, I can’t help but feel like a failure.
The doctor arranged for a lactation consultant to meet with us. She was very nice, but I’m not sure we learned anything new from her. She observed me nursing Claire and confirmed that I was positioning her appropriately, so that’s not the issue causing my sore nipples or Claire’s frustration at the breast. Who knows what it is. I’m going to keep trying, but I can’t help but feel like Sisyphus pushing a boulder up the hillside and watching it roll back down again.
