Poor Sammy has an umbilical hernia. I guess it’s not a big deal unless he develops a fever and seems to be in a lot of pain. Nevertheless, it looks alarming. I thought I’d be a really laid back parent, but even little things like this get me upset. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Being a mommy is a hard job! But it’s so worth it:

I just couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t listen to one more minute of the national news. It’s far too distressing. So I didn’t turn on the radio today. I didn’t look at a newspaper. This enabled me to re-establish some small measure of balance in my life. I could breathe easier. My eyes didn’t fill with tears as often. I haven’t forgotten those poor people. Oh no. But I did realize something important today. I need to take care of myself. I need to remain calm and sane. I need to do these things because I have a child who depends upon me. I have a husband who needs to feel treasured…and I’m ashamed to say I haven’t shown him how much I love him recently. I have friends in far away places with whom I haven’t communicated in far too long. Today I made up for so many things. I lavished my baby with hugs and kisses. I held my husband close and told him I love him. I wrote letters to friends and let them know how much they are missed. Today has been a good day.

October 15 is the official date Sammy will go to the childcare facility. I filled out all the paperwork and paid the registration fee. It’s quite a relief to have that taken care of. I have been having nightmares in which he was turned away from every childcare center we went to and Robert and I had to figure out some way to pay for the roof over our heads and the food we eat since I couldn’t go back to work. It was also comforting to visit the center one more time and see how content the babies were. The two women who work there are terrific. Both of them have been there for five plus years. It’s obvious they love little children and are happy with their jobs. Knowing that makes me feel less upset about having to leave Sammy in the care of others. I’m glad I have several weeks of maternity leave left, though. I’m not quite ready to part with him, even for a few hours.