The doctor’s visit went well. I’ve gained nearly 30 pounds (gasp!) and am measuring right on target. The baby appears to be average in size and weight. He’s not going to be the monster baby that I worried he would be. The doctor also confirmed my suspicions: he’s most definitely “dropped.” My cervix has started to efface and is about one centimeter dilated. She believes he might come a little earlier than my due date. I certainly hope so! I’m tired of being so uncomfortable and ungainly. Not that I’m going to feel like a million bucks right after delivery OR be much smaller, but I think I’ll feel like I’m one large step closer to feeling better.
Robert and I celebrated our wedding anniversary yesterday. He took me out to a wonderful restaurant down on the waterfront. We reminisced over the last year’s highlights and speculated on all the good things to come. We even spoke about some of the things we were worried about…our little fears about parenthood, work, etc. It felt so good to talk to one another like that. Sometimes, it escapes our attention that we haven’t really been communicating with one another. We just assume that the other person knows what’s going on inside our mind, when in fact, there is no way for him/her to do that. We also talked about how much more deeply in love we are than we were a year ago. We’re so lucky to have found one another!
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I’m pretty sure the baby has “dropped.” My tummy is sagging more than it used to and I feel a lot more pressure on my cervix. This makes things exceedingly uncomfortable. I can kiss a good night’s sleep goodbye. Some people have tried to reassure me that it’s just my body’s way of preparing me for the sleepless nights I’ll spend with a newborn. Somehow, that’s not a very comforting thought. I’d rather my body allow me get as much sleep as possible now rather than depriving me both now and later. Oh well. Every bit of this is worth the end result.
I’m looking forward to my doctor’s appointment on Monday afternoon. She’ll be able to tell me if he has dropped and how he’s positioned. I can’t tell how he’s got himself situated. It’s surprisingly hard to tell what the various lumps in my stomache are caused by…is that his head or his hind end? A foot or a hand? Anyway, I’ll be holding my sweet baby in a very short period of time. I can hardly wait! Now, if Robert and I could only settle on a name…
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Between the elation I’m experiencing on account of my rapidly approaching due date and the distress I’m experiencing over learning that my mother has just been diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer, I’m emotionally numb. This is going to be especially hard on her. Only a couple of years ago, she suffered from uterine cancer. She was not a very good patient. The doctor instructed her to take it easy, but it was all my family could do to keep her from jumping out of bed and cooking 8 course meals and doing everyone’s laundry. She HATES being slowed down. I wish I could spare her from this! But she claims she is not really worried about it…that she has wonderful doctors taking care of her and they caught it in the very early stages. I’m glad she’s able to keep things in perspective like that. I’m not sure I would be to do the same. I’m not anywhere near as brave as she is. Two aspects of the situation are bothering her though. First, she’ll have to drive 80 miles every day just to get to the nearest medical center which can provide radiation treatment. She’ll have to do this for 30 days. Second, she’ll most likely not be able to travel to Seattle once the baby’s born. I tried to reassure her that I’d be fine without her here in the first few weeks…that I’d much rather she took care of herself first and then came to visit when she’s good and ready, but talking did little good. This is her first grandchild after all. Thank goodness she has my father around to make sure she does what she needs to do to become healthy and whole once again.
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